


Who Taught You To Torture

by digitalpanic



Category: Workaholics (TV)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 20:28:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15517944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digitalpanic/pseuds/digitalpanic
Summary: Anders being a control freak is just a fact of nature. Birds chip, cats meow, Anders needs control, and Anders wants Blake more than anything he's ever wanted in his life.Not that he's gay, or anything. He just wants Blake. In a not-gay gay way.





	Who Taught You To Torture

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for you, Rattso. I'm sorry that you wanted a Workaholics fic and this is what you got. Also why can I only write fic for fandoms of like six people or less. Thanks to everyone who reads this I'm sorry it's a weird OOC mess. Anders is just a terrible little man. Also Blake Anderson if you're reading this I'm sorry and also call me.

Anders isn’t gay. He knows that. He loves women, he loves how small and soft they are, how they squirm underneath him, how they sweetly moan. Sure he hasn’t gotten laid in a while, but that’s not entirely his fault: life seems to want to cockblock him at every turn. And sure, he experimented a bit in college, but that was college, and everyone experiments in college. He was on the swim team for god’s sake, and he’d have to be insane not to take the handjobs and blowjobs and maybe a little bit more that some of the male members of the team would offer him (and he would, once in a blue moon of course, reciprocate). None of it makes him gay, or anything, he’s just open to… new experiences.

None of which explains what’s happening right now.

Blake looks up at him, eyes lidded and red. “Yo, ‘Ders, are you okay? Because I just wanna suck your big floppy dong and you don’t seem like you’re really all that into what I have to offer!”

“Blake, calling my dick a ‘big floppy dong’ not only made me lose my hard on, it just might have destroyed my ability to ever get hard again.” Anders goes to push away Blake and tuck his softening dick away, what little mood there had now destroyed. He glances around the room, listening for anything other than the sound of Blake’s breathing. “Honestly, I don’t even know where Adam is and I don’t want him to bust in here and see us.”

Blake’s weird grin falls. “Are you really that worried about Adam? I know he’s…. Adam, but it’s like, whatever.” He goes to get up. “Whatever.” 

“I’m sorry.” Anders says, quietly. “I’m just not--”

“Yeah. I know.” Blake walks out of the room

It was weird, how Anders and Blake started their arrangement. Well, it really isn’t that weird in the grand scheme of the trio’s life. Still. Weird. Blake never really cared about the girls he stuck his dick into, but he never would have guessed that his apathy crossed genders. He guesses shouldn’t have come as such a surprise to him, knowing Blake and his… Blake-ness. Walking in on Blake sucking cock on the living room couch was not what either he or Adam expected. Adam reacted by doing his best impression of a fish and giving the highest pitch laugh he’d ever seen before making it clear that Blake should never do that on the couch again because he didn’t want to think of Blake sucking dick every time he looked at him. 

Anders, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to stop thinking about it. It was only a moment before Blake shot up, face flushed, hurrying the stranger out of their house. Anders couldn’t stop thinking about it. His face, his lips, the way his voice sounded, everything about it stuck with him. And he wanted. He wanted more than maybe anything else he’s ever wanted. More than any woman he had meaningless, vapid sex with, more than the men on the swim team who sated him for just a minute. He wanted Blake. And it’s not like he could explain why.

Blake is the biggest man child that Anders knows. Adam is a close second, sure, but Adam knows how to pay bills and get his passport on time and how to fill out the paperwork for a passport. It was damn hard to figure out where Blake’s parents were born when Blake never speaks about them. He’s sure that all the drugs Blake has done has fried his brain-- not that Anders’ brain isn’t fried too. Blake, though, Blake was on another level. It was weirder to see Blake sober than high. Maybe that was part of the appeal. Blake’s corrupted innocence, the way he still saw the world like a child but had gone through too much too still have the true naivety of a child. He wants to protect Blake, he guesses, in some weird way. It’s probably a control thing. It’s definitely a control thing. He doesn’t like to think about it that much. Anders just wants to think about Blake under him or below him or looking up at him sweetly, so, so sweetly.

He also couldn’t have picked a worse person to want to control. Adam is so stupid it’s a wonder he even remembers to breathe half the time. That’s probably why Anders didn’t fixate on him. That and his weird obsession with heterosexuality. He’s sure Adam has sucked dick for less than $900, but probably only because he didn’t realize he could get money out of it. Blake is completely different. Blake could be whip smart, if he got his act together, but Anders knows he never will. He’ll always be a drugged up manchild, floating through life, always somehow seeming to make it through. It’s okay. Anders can be enough of an adult for the both of them. He likes the idea of being there for Blake through all the shit that happens to them, even if it means he has to put up with shitty drug dealers and weird drugs that no human should be anywhere near. He wants to make sure Blake makes it through ok.

But, and there’s always a but, Anders also can’t give up the image he’s carefully constructed. Being gay, being with Blake, it would ruin all of that. He can’t be a loving husband and father and the best fucking salesman at TelAmeriCorp if he’s busy being the guy fudge packing the class stoner. God, he wants to though. Blake will never understand the need to be someone who will be remembered, even if it’s just by one person. He’ll never get the desire to be a functioning member of society. Anders wants that too much to let one guy ruin his chances at having a real life, not just one stuck with two men who never needed to grow up.  But he just likes Blake’s lips around his cock so damn much.

The cocksucking itself started like how most things in the DeMamp-Henderson-Holmvik household start: alcohol and weed. Adam was passed out only god knows where when Blake flops on top of Anders, glazed on the couch.

“‘Ders, I’ve seen you looking at me.” Blake lazily whispered into Anders’ ear, too close for comfort. “I know you want a piece of my sweet ass, which like, I don’t blame you for. You just needed to ask. You just need to ask. I’d let you put your big hands and fat schlong all up in me. Or over me. Or wherever you want it.” He inched his way down, and Anders could feel the blood rush to his dick. He was too fucked up to think about what he should be doing, which is shoving Blake as far away from him as he should. He wanted to give in. So he did.

“Please,” Anders begged, “Please, please, do it,” and Blake started to unzip his pants. Anders got the best goddamn blowjob of his life that night.

It becomes a pattern. The three of them get high, Adam gets lost up his own ass, and Anders and Blake go off to do whatever Blake is willing to do to Anders. Anders never reciprocates, and Blake seems fine with that. He seems happy enough to just be able to do whatever it is he wants to do to Anders. Anders is always terrified that Adam is going to break out of his stupor for long enough to find the two of them, and the one night his anxiety gets the best of him is the night that the pattern breaks.

He still isn’t gay. He just wants Blake. Wanting one guy doesn’t make you gay, and he’s never wanted anyone else like he wanted, he wants, he probably will always want, Blake. Never wanted any guy that way.

He goes to Blake’s room, one night not too long after Blake left in a huff, when he knows they’re all sober and Adam is asleep and Blake is awake because Blake never seems to actually sleep unless he’s high. He opens the door to Blake’s room and Blake snaps to attention, looking at Anders like he’s grown a new head.

“I’m… sorry.” The words feel like lead coming out of Anders’ throat. But he is. He’s never felt remorse and regret and a little bit of shame like he has since Blake left.

Blake stays silent for a few seconds, before asking, “‘Ders, what exactly are you sorry for? Are you sorry that I’m not your own personal RealDoll anymore? That you’re too much of a control freak to let anyone even think, for a second, that you’re gay? Because everyone already thinks that! All the time! ‘Ders, I don’t do secrets! I haven’t been able to keep one secret in my entire life!” He goes silent, waiting for Anders to react.

“I’m just. Sorry.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve just. Never. I can’t… I need…” Anders trails off.

“Control,” Blake finishes for Anders.

“Yeah. And if I have to pick you or what I’ve worked so hard to keep my entire life, I don’t know if you’d win, no matter how much I want you. Want this.”

Blake gives Anders a sharp look. “‘Ders, I’m a person. We can be friends, yeah, but until you’re willing to give up control for the first time in your life, we can’t be anything more. I know that now. Also, am I really so bad at blowing you that you were thinking about Adam?”

Anders laughs, quick, and sad. “You’re right. I cannot believe that you’re right.” He ignores the second part of the question.

“‘Ders, I’m not as much as a dumb idiot as you all think I am. Sure I don’t know taxes or how to pay rent or how to get a passport or how remembering things works or how to do like, any real adult things that you do, but I know you. And you’re a real dumbass.” He beckons Anders to his bed. “Just fucking get in here, dude, no sexytimes this time. Take that huge stick out of your ass for once and let your guard down for once in your life.”

Anders contemplates for a second whether he should get in the bed or not, but he knows that if he doesn’t he’ll never have another chance to really be in Blake’s good graces again. So he does. He crawls into a bed that’s not his own for the first time since he can remember, and let’s go.

Blake snorts. “I didn’t actually think you’d do it, dude. Maybe we’ll make a real human out of you yet.” He clings to Anders like an octopus. “Maybe you can actually learn to give up some control.”

Anders doubts it. He’s got everything under control right now. He knows that Blake isn’t going anywhere without him.


End file.
